I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
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